FILTER

it's been a year too long since my last blog... yet time seemed to fly so quickly
i'm in jakarta now... my home town... back for good
many people, close or mutual or even one-time-we-met-strangers, had asked me, "do you like it here?"
honestly i didnt know how to answer that question... i dont know if i have fully accepted me "being here"
i would say "it's alright" and then add a sentence or two "wish no traffic and bla bla bla"
yes i have to be honest i cant stop complaining about my life here... whether it's related to work, parents and family, or society in general

i wonder whether my life outside jakarta for more than 10 years has somehow created a filter inside me
a filter that somehow allows me to only see "bad things" here
when i arrived on 23 January 2009, i said to myself i came home with no expectation.. i would come home with an open mind and heart... and see how my life would take me here
but i think i lied to myself... because i realize i did come home unconsciously with a baggage with expectations
an expectation that somehow i can still live care free, independently... an unrealistic one considering i have to live with my parents... who are not difficult to live with (haha i try to be nice here) but who are getting older by days and have views of their own and views that are different from mine... have to be honest i think i haven't found how to listen to my parents... let alone to accept their views...
maybe one of the problems is i'm filtering what my parents are saying to me... filtering only what i want to hear... and don't actually listen to them
i guess a point of action... stop filtering and do actually listen to my parents... digest it first.. maybe i can start seeing the good things here