world cup 2010

so this is my view on the world cup so far... it's my childhood dream to be a sports commentator :)
italy as the reigning champion went out... earlier than expected. they had quite an easy group so that was the shocking part.
similar to 2006, this azzurri squad came with low expectation... aging squad and injuries to key players
but the difference... this time they couldn't turn it around like in 2006
they deserved to be out... and as a loyal fan.. the most disappointing part was that the players didn't even try hard enough... they played against team ranked 50 below them and yet they strolled on the field... didn't try to score... thinking the new zealanders or the slovaks would make a mistake and somehow gift them a goal.. shame really but i think this would put an exclamation mark that re-generation is a must and has to start now for the azzurri
meanwhile i have to be honest that the germans have impressed me... a young squad that is exciting and most importantly they know how to play as a TEAM. i think that's the difference maker and that's the main reason the panzer can beat superstars-filled-team like england and argentina. they put aside the individualism and focus on how to win together.

will need to stay up late for the coming week... but i'm excited
many people may say this world cup is not as good as the previous ones
the blunder goals because of the jabulani ball, top teams struggled and went out early in group stages, the underperform star players
but hey these things happened in each world cup... the unpredictability aspect of it which always makes it interesting

FILTER

it's been a year too long since my last blog... yet time seemed to fly so quickly
i'm in jakarta now... my home town... back for good
many people, close or mutual or even one-time-we-met-strangers, had asked me, "do you like it here?"
honestly i didnt know how to answer that question... i dont know if i have fully accepted me "being here"
i would say "it's alright" and then add a sentence or two "wish no traffic and bla bla bla"
yes i have to be honest i cant stop complaining about my life here... whether it's related to work, parents and family, or society in general

i wonder whether my life outside jakarta for more than 10 years has somehow created a filter inside me
a filter that somehow allows me to only see "bad things" here
when i arrived on 23 January 2009, i said to myself i came home with no expectation.. i would come home with an open mind and heart... and see how my life would take me here
but i think i lied to myself... because i realize i did come home unconsciously with a baggage with expectations
an expectation that somehow i can still live care free, independently... an unrealistic one considering i have to live with my parents... who are not difficult to live with (haha i try to be nice here) but who are getting older by days and have views of their own and views that are different from mine... have to be honest i think i haven't found how to listen to my parents... let alone to accept their views...
maybe one of the problems is i'm filtering what my parents are saying to me... filtering only what i want to hear... and don't actually listen to them
i guess a point of action... stop filtering and do actually listen to my parents... digest it first.. maybe i can start seeing the good things here

Rome

Going back home means packing a whole loads of stuffs and digging through old memories
I just skimmed through my photo collection and stumbled upon pictures taken during my trip to Europe at the end of 2004
I would say everyone will fall in love with Paris once they step their feet on it
but I think I love Rome the best
The city is timeless.. the ancient pillars and the modern buildings
In it you will be surrounded by abundance of beauty... the fountain and the fashion
And overwhelmed with pleasures... the amazing food and coffee
I will definitely have my second Roman Holiday :)

It's Always Changing

Quoted from Michelle Williams
Grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing'

Reasons to Love You

I'm excited to see all the talented ladies tomorrow at the Hotel Cafe Tour Concert
And this is just one of the reasons

Wounded

A cut bleeds till it runs dry
leaves a wound
painful but heals overtime
diminishes into a scar
no more blood, no more pain
just a mark
a memory that lingers
till it disappears forever

Learning Time

The events the have been happening for the past month are captivating in historic proportions I would say. Within a month, the Dow basically plunged 3,000 points, a nation – Iceland – is on the brink of bankruptcy, currencies are going crazy – Rupiah is back to the point of the Asian crisis in 1997 and everyone is on panic attack.... because their account is bleeding – including mine :P – and I think everyone has the same question... how could this happen?

I didn’t know how I was supposed to react when hearing those former executives (from AIG, Lehman, Wamu, etc) just said “We’re all get caught up in the moment” as their excuses... I mean I just shook my head in disbelief... that’s it???... that’s all they can say??? No sorry... “I’m responsible for this”... I really wish somebody step up and just apologize... I mean I don’t think we can blame any particular person for this mess... and this all had happened probably because of human nature (greed)... but you approved of those bad loans... you took unbelievably big risk (I bet those executives knew what they got into in the first place but just didn’t want to admit it) and u just said “I get caught in a moment”

I even wonder where I can put my money safely now... I mean I am lucky that I am just starting my career and have a long way to go for retirement... but really can you imagine all you hard work for 30-40 years will just go away like what has happened today? What if your kids are still in college and your account just basically go 10% down every day. You’ll be scratching your head how you are going to pay your kids’ next quarter tuition.

Yep this is a bad time... but a good time to learn... lots of things to learn really
And I wish I could say over and over again... let it rain and wash all the pain away... but it won’t be that easy... Now we all know... now we all should learn... and never repeat the history again... hopefully (just a wishful thinking)

3rd Wish

Ok I'm on cloud number 9 today coz I found out that my fave artist (Rachael Yamagata) is coming to town!! I've been dying to watch her concert for soooo long... Please dont cancel it ok... plzzzz... And she's coming to promote her new album which of course I have pre-ordered but unfortunately wont be able to listen 'til Oct 7th
Anyway I've been listening to her new single "Elephants" over and over throughout the day... it's deep and dark... almost to the verge of depressing (coupled with the gloomy weather of Seattle) but I LOVE it! Somehow I can relate to her lyrics which always tell about bad breakups and sad stories but they never fail to inspire
I think it is from your darkest experiences where you draw your greatest strength :)

The funny thing I just realize is that her concert is my 3rd wish of the year (so far I have fulfilled the 1st and 2nd)... so it's a weird coincidence that my top 3 wishes do (almost) come true.. I guess 3 out of 10 is not bad isn't it

"So for those of you falling in love, keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right.
Throw yourself in the midst of danger, but keep one eye open at night."
Elephants by RY

Life Too Short

I just came back from attending my auntie's funeral in Toronto
It's ironic the only times I went to visit toronto is either when there is a family's wedding or a funeral
A short trip but very memorable one
I got to know my cousins' kids... charissa, michaella, james, jasmine, and kiwi as well
It's the first time i saw them and they already grow up not babies anymore
I got to see donald who now lives in his own bachelor pad, nicole who almost done with her school and megan who is going to start hers soon... wow lots of things have changed
but last not least I got to know more about my auntie awa... such a strong woman... raised her kids on her own... traveling from one country to another... wow i could never imagine that... i regard her as a fighter and i hope she can rest in peace now since her final fight against cancer is done
i cried... i cried for someone i didnt know very well... and i think that's what made me cried... the fact that she's a member of my family and i didnt even know a bit about her life until i attended her funeral
it hit me... really life is short... even too short to know someone.. even someone who shares your family blood
we even share a common name (I never realized that since I never knew her indonesian name... which is Indrawati Widjaja and guess what her friends call her Mrs. Wati... I smiled when I heard it)

In remembrance of my auntie Awa who may have struggled for most of her life but never struggle to love, care and protect her children

ONCE again

Glen Hansard and Market Irglova won the Oscar Best Original Song for "Falling Slowly" Yes! I have been rooting for them from the beginning and the acceptance speech by Marketa speaks the beauty of the movie and music that they made

"Hi everyone. I just want to thank you so much. This is such a big deal, not only for us, but for all other independent musicians and artists that spend most of their time struggling, and this, the fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just to prove no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up. And this song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are. And so thank you so much, who helped us along the way. Thank you."

Can't wait to see both of you performing again here in Seattle...

2008 Wish List

Just doing this for fun
i think i have been wanting alot of things lately... actually from the past year but havent been able to buy or do it because of lack of money (plead for donation haha)or not enough time (excuse as usual :P)

anyway i thought i could just list all the things i want and see how much can i get this year.. for added motivation maybe

1. apple notebook (gosh they tempt me even more with their new macbook air which even costs more)
2. canon eos 40d (i'm waiting for the price to go down)
3. rachael yamagata's concert... she's releasing her new album soon... when??! cant wait and please come to Seattle... i'm still listening to your songs everyday :)
4. summer internship at merryl linch or some other top investment companies.. need to make a return on my MBA-degree investment right.. besides i think i can only do this while i'm still young... too much stress involved (especially when markets go down)
5. getaway to london or mexico.. i know they are opposites of places but both really intrigue me... i guess depend on how my stocks are doing over the summer will determine where i will go since london is a very expensive place to visit
6. learn spanish... i think i've been surrounded by mexicans too much
7. juanes' concert... i havent seen seattle on his tour dates yet... why???!!!
8. learn to cook more... i really want to know how to make a delicious mushroom soup
9. get a new car... need to motivate my sister to learn how to drive... so she can buy a new car ASAP haha
10. be a better investor... one of the main reasons why so many delays on so many things are because my greediness... oh how i wish i could turn back time and just be satisfied with the profits i could have already made :(

i guess that's for now... hopefully not adding more things soon... have plenty already

Happenstance

Happenstance…the never can be…

Main Entry: hap·pen·stance; Etymology: happen + circumstance: A circumstance especially that is due to chance. - Merriam Webster Dictionary

"Happenstance, produced by John Alagia (John Mayer, Dave Matthews etc.), is a collection of songs inspired by my obsessions, often love related, but not always. It’s about the battle between chance circumstances and the belief that everything happens for a reason. The title and the back cover addition of ‘the never can be’ suggest that I’m not really endorsing chance, but, in fact insisting that there must be a reason for repeated broken hearts – perhaps a promise of a better situation, learning experience, the greater love etc. It’s a circular argument… and it’s merely a matter of ‘happenstance’ that the title is what it is anyway. Without the hopefulness of reason, how could anyone weather the highs and lows of relationships and this delightful junk called love." by Rachel Yamagata

A wonderful singer and love her voice so much as it ables to sooth my lost soul these days. Heard her song titled "Reason Why" by chance... I actually had the song for a long time (it is listed on the soundtrack of The Last Kiss) but somehow had never bothered to listen even a few seconds of it. So one day Dea was listening to my iPod and once she gave it back to me, her song was the one that was playing. I was immediately hooked by her voice... hmm it's really funny coz the way she describes her album as "happenstance - the never can be" and there you go... if Dea had never borrowed my iPod, then there never could be a chance of me listening to her song. An incident that insists to those who believe that there must be a reason for anything.

Daily Dose for Breakfast

It has become my habit to wake up early these past months... even though I don't have any work or class to go to
Simple reason: daily dose of stock news
I have to admit it almost became an addiction... I could not take my eyes off Yahoo! Finance
But since last month I'm glad that I could cut back... it's not an obsession anymore
I just check my stock price for a couple of times during the day
Well it's still my daily thing... looking at market index going up and down... it just plays with your heart really
Somehow I came up with an idea to make my habit a lil bit more unusual
If the market is going down during the day I'm going to play the song "It's Going Down" by Yung Joc (it's the Seahawks' song) and if the market is doing well then I'm going to play "Gimme More" by Britney Spears (Yes gimme gimme more $$$)
I would like to think of more songs so that I could rotate and maybe make a playlist haha

Jembatan Zaman

Jembatan Zaman by Dee (Filosofi Kopi)

Bertambahnya usia bukan berarti kita paham segalanya
Pohon besar tumbuh mendekati langit dan menjauhi tanah
Ia merasa telah melihat segala dari ketinggiannya
Namun masih ingatkah ia dengan sepetak tanah mungil waktu masih kerdil dulu?

Setiap jenjang memiliki dunia sendiri, yang selalu dilupakan ketika umur bertambah tinggi
Tak bisa kembali ke kacamata yang sama bukan berarti kita lebih mengerti dari yang semula
Rambut putih tak menjadikan kita manusia yang segala tahu

Dapatkah kita kembali mengerti apa yang ditertawakan bocah kecil
atau yang digejolakkan anak belasan tahun seiring dengan kecepatan zaman yang melesat meninggalkan?
Karena kita tumbuh ke atas tapi masih dalam petak yang sama
Akar kita tumbuh ke dalam dan tak bisa terlalu jauh ke samping
Selalu tercipta kutub-kutub pemahaman yang tak akan bertemu kalau tidak dijembatani

Jembatan yang rendah hati, bukan kesombongan diri

Once

For ONCE I really wanna go to Bumbershoot and I wouldnt even be in this part of continent
Okay the lineup is killing me so bad... John Legend, Fergie, Panic at the Disco, The Shins, Plain White T's, Gym Class Heroes... and the one I anticipate the most is The Frames... They are going to play on the Sept 3rd (you gotta be there and I promise you won't be disappointed)

I came to love their music accidentally... I just downloaded a few days ago the soundtrack of the movie "Once". It's an indie movie about two musicians' journey finding souls, love and beautiful music together. I havent seen the movie yet but I have read all the great reviews about it and about its great soundtrack as well. And yes I am "falling slowly" in love with the songs. I'm hooked especially with the songs "Fallen From the Sky" and of course "Falling Slowly" :)
The rest of the songs are okay... they are kinda gloomy.. I would say it's Damien Rice-like kind of album in overall

Lyrics from Falling Slowly is so honest, warm but yet heart-wrenching, sung by the beautiful voices of Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova make it just a perfect song for the cool cloudy days
Fallen From the Sky is directly the opposite... the melody is simple, repetitive, and with all the funny "folk" things going on at the background makes it a really unique song... it never fails to put a smile on my face every time I hear it. Today I was driving to the school and as usual the I-5 never failed to be so crowded and yet I didnt get annoyed as usual... I was listening to this song for 5 times in a row :)

When I came home, I immediately checked if they were going to have a concert here and guess what.. they are coming... yes coming when I'm not going to be here :(

Well I checked the movie is still out in theater, I think I'm going to see it if not tmw night then on friday... I hope when I see it once, I would not want to see it twice

Definition of Age

"you don't have to get over it coz you know the moment you get over it you don't want it to be over... u should just let it be part of you" by Billy Bob Thornton
I dont know how but somehow I relate this phrase with growing, aging, getting older... is it such a bad thing that you dont want a year to be over so that you would not have to add a digit to your age?
Lots of people including myself feel not exciting anymore to celebrate birthdays (yes coz we are over 21) but why?
is it coz our bodies are changing... they are not "young" and "powerful" as it used to be... we get tired easily... fatter easily... hey we need to go to the gym and watch for our diet :P
or is it coz of burden of responsibility... need to be independent, get a job and build your career, buy your first house, find a bf/gf and get married coz clock is ticking

let's just dont get overcomplicated
aging, getting older is about going through a journey, is about experiences
like Billy Bob said let it be part of you, let it define who you are
and here is who i are
15 years of isolation, timidity, antisocial life while i was a young kid opened my eyes to a new world when i stepped outside my comfort nest... no mom and dad... surrounded by totally new people who speak with words ending in "la" "le" and "hor"
3 years in spore teaching me to eat and like sweet stuffs like bubur cha2, wafer ice cream on the side of Orchard Rd, a new level of friendship, knowing that a girl who likes soccer is weird but can learn to be girly as well (learn to gossip, how to shop)
6 years and counting teach me even more than i could ever imagine... get my degree and then face real world and get my first paycheck... clubbing is fun, alcohol is not bad... live concerts pump your heart... moving 7 times teach you how to organize and pick ur stuffs... seeing Europe tells me that there is more for me to see... there are people from all walks of life... I dont even know how i can get hooked to La Camisa Negra

that's me, a 24 years old girl who just got the chance to learn being a barista...
i'm looking forward to it... being 25 and counting

Idol

Okay this blog started as today a friend of mine asked me if I wanna go and see "A Mighty Heart"
I wanted to but couldn't because I have to study for my "superconfusing" macroecon urghhh
I knew I wouldn't survive studying at home so I went to study at the Bellevue public library (a really nice place... it was so crowded today... I couldn't find a big open table so ended up in one of those tiny cubicles)
Nevertheless I came across a Marie Claire magazine with Angelina Jolie on the cover
so i took a break and read the article
I'm always interested in her... the things she does... as a goodwill ambassador, as an actress, as a mom, and of course as the half of Jolie-Pitt (damn!) haha
As i was reading one page to another... I realized how much I admire her more at the end of the article...
i don't usually care about celebrities except who hooks up with whom :P
but something different draws me to Angie... I read lots of article about her and there are things that she said show that even though she's a celeb she's far away from perfect... she admitted her mistakes, her dark past... even she admitted openly she would rather have "lovers" not a boyfriend or a fiance coz she's just not looking for one (but how could she end up with brad?!)... also she hates hugging coz she would feel suffocated... strange but yes I do feel hugging strangers is not my way either... and she does not trust no one not even BP though she couldnt believe he would do anything to hurt her

yes she definitely doesnt scare to speak her mind but she does speak after thinking carefully...
i find she likes to pause when she does her interviews... In Marie Claire she admits she hasnt gotten over her mom's death yet... but she got a good advice from her friend Bob Thornton that you dont have to get over it coz you know the moment you get over it you dont want it to be over... u should just let it be part of you
wow that's a great advice and i think she really takes it to her heart

haha i feel i'm obsessed with AJ now... but i do feel connected to her (even though i dont know her at all... there is a chance she's a totally different person from what I imagine)
but there is this illusion... a strong woman, secure yet can be doubtful (trust no one), passionate but yet seems cold (hate hugging) open-minded but yet stubborn
all this contradictory things inside her that I feel she's showing to us that she's human... just a human entangled in this crazy world and not afraid to present herself just as who she is

i think she's my idol... if there is one person i would die to meet it would be her... no offense i do admire a lot of people but i think a chance to meet, talk or debate (she loves to debate and me too) haha would be a wish to dream for

Weak

My supervisor said something interesting today
I never guess she's a feminist... she enjoys politics and writing
Wow... I never expect that side of her... another prove how our perception is so easily distorted these days

She said she saw this picture of an old man hugging a baby
and there was a phrase below it that says:
"We are born and die weak... but we can choose whatever happen in between"

simple but powerful

Fear

I just watched Children of Men on DVD and it kinda made me feel depressed haha
Well it's definitely a thought-provoking movie... it's about the future set in 2027
But it does not look futuristic at all... no flying cars... no robots walking down the street... it's a different kind of future, different kind of imagination and definitely unexpected
nevertheless i feel what were depicted in the movie could be happening... it's really scary if you have already watched it

scared... fear
those 2 words made me thinking
i live in fear
fear of what if i made the wrong choice of doing the MBA program
fear of going back home and not feeling that i belong there
fear of being always far away from my family and get disconnected from them
fear of what if my relationship won't work
fear of not knowing what i want to know
yes i live in 1000 fears

so is fear the motivation of living?

fear seems to be a big part of our lives
in the big picture...
the United States decided to declare war on Iraq because of fear for a weapon of mass destruction
everyone filed their H1-visas on the first opening day because of fear for not having enough quotas

i'm even fearful of what i'm writing right now because it sounds really depressing (sorry guys)

i think the biggest fear is that we don't realize that all these fears are around us
they are invisible but they are there
wrapping every inch of our skin
taking every space that we have

...

i couldnt figure out what title should i put for this blog... i guess i could care less
just feel too tired to think of anything... besides sleeping... the sight of the my comfy bed is too tempting huhu
just want to throw random things out there... feel like i havent updated my blog for a while

today i found out that starbucks just started this promotion my starbucks T-shirt where they will give out free starbucks T-shirts designed by.... Michael Knight from Project Runway!!!
Unfortunately promotion will end on Feb 28 and they only give out a certain numbers of T-shirts each day... so hurry up! I cant wait to get my hands on one :)

marketing exam tomorrow urgh so not ready for it... need Naked juice haha
yup i'm still craving for it... i guess i switch my coffee addiction to juice addiction
well it's healthier rite... so it's a good switch... sorry Starbucks :P
I 've almost tried every possible flavor out there
my fave five are Berry Blast, Strawberry Kiwi Kick, Orange Mango Motion, Green Machine and Red Machine
yummm i cant wait to go to Safeway tomorrow to grab some... i hope they have them at promotion prices

my coworker is funny... she asked my supervisor to get a day off on March 30... that's like more than a month from now
her reason is... she's going to celebrate her 1st anniversary with her bf... aww so sweet right
well i almost laughed out loud when she said "I think I won't be sober enough to work on the next day coz I'm sure I'll be drunk so bad" Hahahaha I was like... who plans to get drunk a month before it actually happens

I dreamt last nite of joining AMES again... ironically i just said no to my boss the morning before that... make me wonder

community service this saturday... and it's forecasted to be raining... fun
paper on monday... fun
and wednesday... huhu my long awaited accounting exam... nightmare

that's all folks