We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is that we are --- Garden State
3.9.11
Coldplay
Coldplay has been my favorite band since a decade ago. Excited with the new things that they have come up with in the past 2 albums (X&Y and VIVA LA VIDA) but I have to say I fall in love (head over heels) with their first 2 albums. PARACHUTE and A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD are just classic brit alternative rock albums filled with heartbreaking honest songs that always bring me back the feeling of being a helpless romantic or being a hopeful/hopeless person lost/found in this world (whatever that means to you).
I compile some of my favorite lyrics (not in any order) as my tribute to COLDPLAY
"Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
And do back the things it did to you in return
He said, "I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh and I'm gonna buy this place, that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head" (A Rush Of Blood To The Head)
"And we live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do, yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
Oh, all that I know
There's nothing here to run from
Cause yeah, everybody here
Has got somebody to lean on" (Don't Panic)
"Look from earth from outer space
Everyone must find a place
Give me time and give me space
Give me real and don't give me fake
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me soul
Give me love, give us a kiss
And tell me your own politik" (Politik)
"My heart is yours
It's you that I hold on to
That's what I do
I know I was wrong
I won't let you down
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah I will, yes I will" (Sparks)
"I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are" (The Scientist)
"Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know? For you I bleed myself dry
For you I bleed myself dry" (Yellow)
26.7.11
Humility
I started recollecting my fond memories of my grandma as soon as I found out that she had to check into hospital. Her HB went down way below normal, but luckily we caught it on time so she could get the treatment that she needed.
I wouldn’t say we have the best grandma-grand daughter relationship but there were definitely moments that I would always remember. And some of them were like living pictures in my mind.
It was May 1998, the darkest days in my country’s history. Almost all my family members gathered in Singapore as we were ones of those who were fortunate enough to escape unscathed from the riot. Around 20 people squeezed into this 3 bedroom apartment. My grandma was one of them. One night after dinner, we all sat down in circle in the living room. I didn’t know how the conversation started but I remember my grandma told us to take the positive thing out of what had just happened. That we should always be grateful of what have been given to us. The fact that we could all gather together in that living room was a blessing that not many people could have at that moment. This was also to remind us to always be humble regardless of what we have achieved. “Keep both of your feet on the ground and always remember where you came from.” Those were the words that until today still feel like she just whispered them on my ear. I was awed by the strength of a woman who at the time of crisis showed us that humility should be embraced and that we should have never taken things for granted.
And yes the thought of almost losing my grandma teach me to be humble and to remember my roots. We all live in this hectic crazy world that sometimes we forget what is important. I was humbled by the fact that what she has given me, I realize I havent given back much to her. And definitely humbled that I am still given the chance to at least give back a lil bit more... Thank you
11.7.11
Quotes
"Relative Reality" These forms we see with our physical eyes we tend to appraise in various ways. Distinctions are fundamentally relative - ideas, judgment, and sensations are based on comparisons.
Beings think "I" at first and cling to self;
They thinks of "mine" and are attached to things
An attempt to fix in time and place that which is constantly changing. When we become fixed in our perceptions, we lose our ability to fly.
23.6.11
Boredom
to be honest i havent done any task related to work since 2 pm in the afternoon. I have browsed as many websites as I could ranging from:
- my fave topic sports (nba draft, wimbledon, summer football transfers)
- financial news (optimism over greece bail out, usd gaining strenght against idr temporarily)
- vacation places (tickets to taiwan is considerably cheap for traveling in august.. usd 500 inclusive of taxes, i paid triple of that when i used to be a student coming home each summer)
- property websites (trying to plan getting an apt for myself but after doing my own calculation it will take me forever to pay the installments haha)
- online store websites like kaskus, toko bagus, tokopedia.com (I'm starting to get more and more interested with e-commerce in indo, definitely has an upside potential and i'm giving it a try to sell an item there.. see how it goes.. i guess we do this alot in US but it was very convenient with PayPal and such. things are different here but we'll see)
ok i did lots of craps for 3 hours and 30 mins
now i'm gonna rewards myself with a window shopping trip to grand indo... it's jakarta great sale!
14.2.11
Valentine's Day
got the best date tonight with rachael yamagata performing live at HardRock.
i was totally psyched that she finally came to my hometown. never thought she would come esp early this year. saw her cds displayed on the shelves of music stores. hope it sells well coz Happenstance is a must-have album and you would discover a talented artist like no other.
thanks rachael for making tonight not just for the couples to celebrate the valentine's but also for us, the singles, who are still hoping, waiting, looking, believing for someone out there.
rachael's message who just became single on this very day:
"Valentine's day is sort of like New Year's Eve, it never turns out to be what my fantasizing little self of 17 expects.. However I do find myself loving friendships, travel, music, creativity and hey if there can be a lil romance mixed in all the better. If you've got a cutie, go out and celebrate.. And if you don't.. Stay light and know that it's all on it's way.. Somehow.. Someday.. If I can do it, you can too!"
28.10.10
Dreams in bali
i want to build a cafe wh a dog park attached next to it.
i'll be the barista grinding those roasted coffee beans and making those lattes.
then customers from the neighborhood would come arnd bringing their dogs.
they would unleash their dogs to play in the park. then they would order some coffee, sit down.. read newspapers or chit chat wh their friends
the sky is blue outside and i stand there in my counter.. in my coffee shop.. smiling
a nice dream to have while i was in bali :)
18.7.10
Raja Ampat
Raja Ampat casts a spell on all who visit – scientists, photographers, novice divers and crusty sea-salts alike. This group of majestic islands, located in the northwestern tip of Indonesia’s Papuan, lies in the heart of the coral triangle, the most bio-diverse marine region on earth.
it's definitely in on my traveling list :)
4.7.10
world cup 2010
italy as the reigning champion went out... earlier than expected. they had quite an easy group so that was the shocking part.
similar to 2006, this azzurri squad came with low expectation... aging squad and injuries to key players
but the difference... this time they couldn't turn it around like in 2006
they deserved to be out... and as a loyal fan.. the most disappointing part was that the players didn't even try hard enough... they played against team ranked 50 below them and yet they strolled on the field... didn't try to score... thinking the new zealanders or the slovaks would make a mistake and somehow gift them a goal.. shame really but i think this would put an exclamation mark that re-generation is a must and has to start now for the azzurri
meanwhile i have to be honest that the germans have impressed me... a young squad that is exciting and most importantly they know how to play as a TEAM. i think that's the difference maker and that's the main reason the panzer can beat superstars-filled-team like england and argentina. they put aside the individualism and focus on how to win together.
will need to stay up late for the coming week... but i'm excited
many people may say this world cup is not as good as the previous ones
the blunder goals because of the jabulani ball, top teams struggled and went out early in group stages, the underperform star players
but hey these things happened in each world cup... the unpredictability aspect of it which always makes it interesting
14.5.10
FILTER
i'm in jakarta now... my home town... back for good
many people, close or mutual or even one-time-we-met-strangers, had asked me, "do you like it here?"
honestly i didnt know how to answer that question... i dont know if i have fully accepted me "being here"
i would say "it's alright" and then add a sentence or two "wish no traffic and bla bla bla"
yes i have to be honest i cant stop complaining about my life here... whether it's related to work, parents and family, or society in general
i wonder whether my life outside jakarta for more than 10 years has somehow created a filter inside me
a filter that somehow allows me to only see "bad things" here
when i arrived on 23 January 2009, i said to myself i came home with no expectation.. i would come home with an open mind and heart... and see how my life would take me here
but i think i lied to myself... because i realize i did come home unconsciously with a baggage with expectations
an expectation that somehow i can still live care free, independently... an unrealistic one considering i have to live with my parents... who are not difficult to live with (haha i try to be nice here) but who are getting older by days and have views of their own and views that are different from mine... have to be honest i think i haven't found how to listen to my parents... let alone to accept their views...
maybe one of the problems is i'm filtering what my parents are saying to me... filtering only what i want to hear... and don't actually listen to them
i guess a point of action... stop filtering and do actually listen to my parents... digest it first.. maybe i can start seeing the good things here
30.12.08
Rome
I just skimmed through my photo collection and stumbled upon pictures taken during my trip to Europe at the end of 2004
I would say everyone will fall in love with Paris once they step their feet on it
but I think I love Rome the best
The city is timeless.. the ancient pillars and the modern buildings
In it you will be surrounded by abundance of beauty... the fountain and the fashion
And overwhelmed with pleasures... the amazing food and coffee
I will definitely have my second Roman Holiday :)
23.11.08
It's Always Changing
Grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing'
15.11.08
Reasons to Love You
25.10.08
Wounded
leaves a wound
painful but heals overtime
diminishes into a scar
no more blood, no more pain
just a mark
a memory that lingers
till it disappears forever
19.10.08
Learning Time
I didn’t know how I was supposed to react when hearing those former executives (from AIG, Lehman, Wamu, etc) just said “We’re all get caught up in the moment” as their excuses... I mean I just shook my head in disbelief... that’s it???... that’s all they can say??? No sorry... “I’m responsible for this”... I really wish somebody step up and just apologize... I mean I don’t think we can blame any particular person for this mess... and this all had happened probably because of human nature (greed)... but you approved of those bad loans... you took unbelievably big risk (I bet those executives knew what they got into in the first place but just didn’t want to admit it) and u just said “I get caught in a moment”
I even wonder where I can put my money safely now... I mean I am lucky that I am just starting my career and have a long way to go for retirement... but really can you imagine all you hard work for 30-40 years will just go away like what has happened today? What if your kids are still in college and your account just basically go 10% down every day. You’ll be scratching your head how you are going to pay your kids’ next quarter tuition.
Yep this is a bad time... but a good time to learn... lots of things to learn really
And I wish I could say over and over again... let it rain and wash all the pain away... but it won’t be that easy... Now we all know... now we all should learn... and never repeat the history again... hopefully (just a wishful thinking)
20.9.08
3rd Wish
Anyway I've been listening to her new single "Elephants" over and over throughout the day... it's deep and dark... almost to the verge of depressing (coupled with the gloomy weather of Seattle) but I LOVE it! Somehow I can relate to her lyrics which always tell about bad breakups and sad stories but they never fail to inspire
I think it is from your darkest experiences where you draw your greatest strength :)
The funny thing I just realize is that her concert is my 3rd wish of the year (so far I have fulfilled the 1st and 2nd)... so it's a weird coincidence that my top 3 wishes do (almost) come true.. I guess 3 out of 10 is not bad isn't it
"So for those of you falling in love, keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right.
Throw yourself in the midst of danger, but keep one eye open at night."
Elephants by RY
14.5.08
Life Too Short
It's ironic the only times I went to visit toronto is either when there is a family's wedding or a funeral
A short trip but very memorable one
I got to know my cousins' kids... charissa, michaella, james, jasmine, and kiwi as well
It's the first time i saw them and they already grow up not babies anymore
I got to see donald who now lives in his own bachelor pad, nicole who almost done with her school and megan who is going to start hers soon... wow lots of things have changed
but last not least I got to know more about my auntie awa... such a strong woman... raised her kids on her own... traveling from one country to another... wow i could never imagine that... i regard her as a fighter and i hope she can rest in peace now since her final fight against cancer is done
i cried... i cried for someone i didnt know very well... and i think that's what made me cried... the fact that she's a member of my family and i didnt even know a bit about her life until i attended her funeral
it hit me... really life is short... even too short to know someone.. even someone who shares your family blood
we even share a common name (I never realized that since I never knew her indonesian name... which is Indrawati Widjaja and guess what her friends call her Mrs. Wati... I smiled when I heard it)
In remembrance of my auntie Awa who may have struggled for most of her life but never struggle to love, care and protect her children
26.2.08
ONCE again
"Hi everyone. I just want to thank you so much. This is such a big deal, not only for us, but for all other independent musicians and artists that spend most of their time struggling, and this, the fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just to prove no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up. And this song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are. And so thank you so much, who helped us along the way. Thank you."
Can't wait to see both of you performing again here in Seattle...
4.2.08
2008 Wish List
i think i have been wanting alot of things lately... actually from the past year but havent been able to buy or do it because of lack of money (plead for donation haha)or not enough time (excuse as usual :P)
anyway i thought i could just list all the things i want and see how much can i get this year.. for added motivation maybe
1. apple notebook (gosh they tempt me even more with their new macbook air which even costs more)
2. canon eos 40d (i'm waiting for the price to go down)
3. rachael yamagata's concert... she's releasing her new album soon... when??! cant wait and please come to Seattle... i'm still listening to your songs everyday :)
4. summer internship at merryl linch or some other top investment companies.. need to make a return on my MBA-degree investment right.. besides i think i can only do this while i'm still young... too much stress involved (especially when markets go down)
5. getaway to london or mexico.. i know they are opposites of places but both really intrigue me... i guess depend on how my stocks are doing over the summer will determine where i will go since london is a very expensive place to visit
6. learn spanish... i think i've been surrounded by mexicans too much
7. juanes' concert... i havent seen seattle on his tour dates yet... why???!!!
8. learn to cook more... i really want to know how to make a delicious mushroom soup
9. get a new car... need to motivate my sister to learn how to drive... so she can buy a new car ASAP haha
10. be a better investor... one of the main reasons why so many delays on so many things are because my greediness... oh how i wish i could turn back time and just be satisfied with the profits i could have already made :(
i guess that's for now... hopefully not adding more things soon... have plenty already
5.12.07
Happenstance
Main Entry: hap·pen·stance; Etymology: happen + circumstance: A circumstance especially that is due to chance. - Merriam Webster Dictionary
"Happenstance, produced by John Alagia (John Mayer, Dave Matthews etc.), is a collection of songs inspired by my obsessions, often love related, but not always. It’s about the battle between chance circumstances and the belief that everything happens for a reason. The title and the back cover addition of ‘the never can be’ suggest that I’m not really endorsing chance, but, in fact insisting that there must be a reason for repeated broken hearts – perhaps a promise of a better situation, learning experience, the greater love etc. It’s a circular argument… and it’s merely a matter of ‘happenstance’ that the title is what it is anyway. Without the hopefulness of reason, how could anyone weather the highs and lows of relationships and this delightful junk called love." by Rachel Yamagata
A wonderful singer and love her voice so much as it ables to sooth my lost soul these days. Heard her song titled "Reason Why" by chance... I actually had the song for a long time (it is listed on the soundtrack of The Last Kiss) but somehow had never bothered to listen even a few seconds of it. So one day Dea was listening to my iPod and once she gave it back to me, her song was the one that was playing. I was immediately hooked by her voice... hmm it's really funny coz the way she describes her album as "happenstance - the never can be" and there you go... if Dea had never borrowed my iPod, then there never could be a chance of me listening to her song. An incident that insists to those who believe that there must be a reason for anything.
24.10.07
Daily Dose for Breakfast
Simple reason: daily dose of stock news
I have to admit it almost became an addiction... I could not take my eyes off Yahoo! Finance
But since last month I'm glad that I could cut back... it's not an obsession anymore
I just check my stock price for a couple of times during the day
Well it's still my daily thing... looking at market index going up and down... it just plays with your heart really
Somehow I came up with an idea to make my habit a lil bit more unusual
If the market is going down during the day I'm going to play the song "It's Going Down" by Yung Joc (it's the Seahawks' song) and if the market is doing well then I'm going to play "Gimme More" by Britney Spears (Yes gimme gimme more $$$)
I would like to think of more songs so that I could rotate and maybe make a playlist haha